Why do we compare ourselves at work ? Understanding the thought loop — and how to break it.
Comparison at work is often misunderstood. It’s not just about envy.
It’s about a quiet erosion of self-worth.
You see a colleague get promoted, launch something new, or speak up confidently in a meeting — and suddenly, you feel like you’re behind.
This reaction isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a symptom of something deeper:
A negative internal voice you’ve built over time — one that questions your pace, visibility, or value in subtle but constant ways.
Why This Happens
Most of us are never taught to observe our thoughts. We just flow with them, and over time, those thoughts become stories:
- “I’m not moving fast enough.”
- “People don’t notice my work.”
- “I should be doing more.”
These aren’t facts. They’re beliefs shaped by a system that rewards performance, speed, and external wins.
But the more we believe these thoughts, the further we move from our own reality — our own values, pace, and definition of success.
This mental loop doesn’t just impact our mood.
It affects how we work, make decisions, and show up.
Left unchecked, it can weaken confidence and reduce creative potential.
What Helps: Awareness First
The first step is not to push these thoughts away — but to notice them.
The next time you catch yourself feeling “behind” or “not good enough,” pause.
Ask: “What am I telling myself right now?”
Then name the thought. Don’t judge it. Just recognize it.
This creates a gap between you and your thoughts — a basic but powerful mindfulness skill.
A Simple Grounding Practice
Once you’ve noticed the thought, follow it up with this small exercise:
Twice a week, ask yourself:
“What did I show up for that actually mattered to me?”
Write down 3 things.
It could be a conversation you handled well, a small step forward in your work, or simply showing up despite low energy.
You don’t need to analyze or explain these. Just name them.
Why This Works
This practice interrupts the cycle of negative self-talk by bringing your attention back to reality — to what’s actually happening, not what your mind is spinning.
Over time, it helps you:
- Build a more accurate self-image
- Stay grounded in your own pace
- Recognize your own effort and values
And most importantly, it helps you stop measuring your growth by someone else’s timeline.
