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The Quiet Cost of Dominance in the Workplace

Many professionals experience subtle but persistent forms of dominance at work — being talked over, undermined, ignored, or made to feel invisible. These are not always loud or aggressive behaviours, but over time, they erode confidence, emotional safety, and contribution.

In most structured workplaces, you’re bound to encounter dominant personalities — people who assert control through tone, presence, or non-responsiveness. Some of this is driven by pressure, timelines, or unprocessed habits of leadership. But the emotional impact of these workplace power dynamics is especially strong for people who are more reflective or inward-facing.

Why Dominating Coworkers Can Be Emotionally Draining

Dominating behaviour doesn’t always come across as aggressive. It can be quiet but consistent — a dismissive tone, an interrupted sentence, a lack of acknowledgment. And when you’re exposed to this dynamic repeatedly, it affects more than how you communicate. It changes how you see yourself.

Here’s what it can trigger:

  • A sense of powerlessness
  • Internal shame — for not speaking up or for letting it continue
  • Self-doubt — “Maybe I’m not clear enough” or “Maybe they’re right”
  • Suppressed individuality — you start to shrink to avoid friction

Most advice on how to deal with dominating coworkers focuses on fixing the other person. But what’s often more effective  and immediately available  is learning to stay emotionally grounded within yourself.

What Helps: Mindful Tools to Stay Clear

You may not be able to change a person’s behaviour. But you can change the emotional power it holds over you. These practices help you process, reset, and protect your inner space in the face of difficult dynamics.

  1. Compassion for the Dominant Personality

In mindfulness, the practice of metta (loving-kindness) encourages us to extend compassion even to those who trigger discomfort.

Silently repeat: “May you be free from your own pressure.”

Why it helps: This breaks the emotional loop of resentment. It reduces the grip their behaviour has on your mind — and reframes it as their struggle, not your shortcoming.

  1. Body Scan After Dominating Interactions

When you feel tense, undermined, or silenced, pause and scan your body — slowly, from head to toe. Find where the discomfort sits: your chest, jaw, shoulders.

Why it helps: This technique grounds you in the physical experience of the moment, not the mental story. It reminds you that discomfort is something you feel — not something you are.

  1. Practice Calm Assertiveness at Work

Speaking up is a skill. You don’t need to be loud — just clear and calm.

Try:
“I’d like to finish what I was saying.”
“Here’s what I think.”

Why it helps: Clear speech gently but firmly resets the tone. It shows that you’re present — and not easily pushed aside — without resorting to confrontation.

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Disclaimer

This article is based on lived experiences and reflective practices. It’s not a substitute for therapy or mental health care. If you’re experiencing persistent distress or emotional fatigue at work, consider reaching out to a trusted therapist or counsellor. You don’t have to carry it alone.

This piece includes AI-assisted editing.

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Why do we compare ourselves at work ? Understanding the thought loop — and how to break it.

Comparison at work is often misunderstood. It’s not just about envy.
It’s about a quiet erosion of self-worth.

You see a colleague get promoted, launch something new, or speak up confidently in a meeting — and suddenly, you feel like you’re behind.

This reaction isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a symptom of something deeper:
A negative internal voice you’ve built over time — one that questions your pace, visibility, or value in subtle but constant ways.

Why This Happens

Most of us are never taught to observe our thoughts. We just flow with them, and over time, those thoughts become stories:

  • “I’m not moving fast enough.”
  • “People don’t notice my work.”
  • “I should be doing more.”

These aren’t facts. They’re beliefs shaped by a system that rewards performance, speed, and external wins.

But the more we believe these thoughts, the further we move from our own reality — our own values, pace, and definition of success.

This mental loop doesn’t just impact our mood.
It affects how we work, make decisions, and show up.
Left unchecked, it can weaken confidence and reduce creative potential.

What Helps: Awareness First

The first step is not to push these thoughts away — but to notice them.

The next time you catch yourself feeling “behind” or “not good enough,” pause.
Ask: “What am I telling myself right now?”
Then name the thought. Don’t judge it. Just recognize it.

This creates a gap between you and your thoughts — a basic but powerful mindfulness skill.

A Simple Grounding Practice

Once you’ve noticed the thought, follow it up with this small exercise:

Twice a week, ask yourself:
“What did I show up for that actually mattered to me?”

Write down 3 things.
It could be a conversation you handled well, a small step forward in your work, or simply showing up despite low energy.

You don’t need to analyze or explain these. Just name them.

Why This Works

This practice interrupts the cycle of negative self-talk by bringing your attention back to reality — to what’s actually happening, not what your mind is spinning.

Over time, it helps you:

  • Build a more accurate self-image
  • Stay grounded in your own pace
  • Recognize your own effort and values

And most importantly, it helps you stop measuring your growth by someone else’s timeline.

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Too Many Pings, Too Little Peace – Overstimulation At Work

Most of us feel overstimulated at work — pulled in different directions by constant notifications, emails, chat groups, dashboards, and research reports.
Over time, this drains more than just focus. It impacts the nervous system, often without us realizing it.

Prolonged overstimulation can lead to:

  • Weakened concentration
  • Heightened anxiety
  • Emotional fatigue
  • Sleep disruptions
  • A constant feeling of pressure

And yet, we continue in the same rhythm — even when we know it’s unsustainable.

Why We Stay in the Loop

Part of the reason is structural — fast-moving cultures, always-on expectations.
But part of it is internal:

  • Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): Especially in competitive environments, we feel pressured to stay visible and updated.
  • The Distraction Loop: Once overstimulated, we often seek more stimulation to avoid discomfort or important tasks — reinforcing the cycle.

Noticing this loop is the first step. The second is breaking it — gently, through small, grounding practices.

What Helps: Micro-Practices to Reset the Mind

You don’t need to overhaul your life.
Start with one or two of these practices and let them build their own momentum.

  1. A 10-minute wind-down ritual
    Stretch or move slowly at the end of the workday.
    Why it helps: Releases physical tension and signals the nervous system to relax.
  2. Mindful tea or coffee breaks
    When possible, drink without distractions. Notice the warmth, taste, aroma.
    Why it helps: Anchors your senses and interrupts compulsive scrolling or multitasking.
  3. Box breathing before work
    Inhale for 4 counts → hold for 4 → exhale for 4 → hold for 4.
    Why it helps: A quick nervous system reset that calms the mind and prepares it for focus.
  4. No screens for 30 minutes after waking
    Avoid email, messages, and news first thing in the morning.
    Why it helps: Keeps cortisol levels stable and prevents mental clutter from setting the tone for your day.
  5. One gratitude sentence about work
    Even on difficult days.
    For example: “I’m grateful I stayed calm during that team discussion.”
    Why it helps: Builds a balanced perspective and reconnects you to your values — not just outcomes.
  6. Create defined check-in windows for communication
    Instead of being “always available,” set specific times to check messages and email. Let teams, agencies, or clients know your rhythm.

Most people ping across platforms because they know you’ll respond. This allows erratic, unplanned communication to take over your day — and your mind.

Break the loop by introducing structure:

  • Define what counts as urgent
  • For urgency, ask people to call
  • For everything else, suggest a scheduled check-in

This builds mutual respect and reduces reactive behaviour. It may feel uncomfortable to set this boundary — especially for employees — but every system needs someone to go first. One person’s discipline can begin a cultural shift.

Why it helps: Reduces overstimulation and brings intention back to how time and attention are used at work.

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Disclaimer:
This piece is meant to offer support, not diagnosis. It’s based on lived experience, reflective practice, and insights from research — but it isn’t a replacement for professional mental health care. If you’re feeling persistently overwhelmed, consider speaking with a trusted therapist or counsellor. You deserve the right kind of help.

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Why Can’t We Stick To Our Priority Tasks?

How high-impact work gets sidelined — and two ways to reclaim your focus

You start your day with a plan. Your tasks align with long-term goals — for yourself, your team, and the business.
But within hours, it’s all off track. Urgent emails, unexpected meetings, last-minute requests take over. You’re reacting, not progressing.

This isn’t a time management issue. It’s a systems and self-perception issue. One that most professionals face silently, every day.

What Happens When Priorities Slip:

  • Mental fatigue from constant context switching
  • Time wasted on low-impact work
  • Lack of progress leading to demotivation
  • Poorer decision-making as clarity fades

Why It Keeps Happening:

Yes, some interruptions are unavoidable. But many times, it’s two internal patterns that throw you off:

  1. Fear of Saying No
    You hesitate to push back on meetings or low-priority requests. Not because you don’t know what matters — but because you fear looking unhelpful, disengaged, or slow.
  2. Overwhelm Leading to Avoidance
    When the to-do list piles up, you lose clarity. The more overwhelmed you feel, the more likely you are to avoid your most important tasks — especially when you want to do them well.

At the root of both is fear: fear of judgment, of failure, of not being “seen” as competent enough.

What May Help: Two Simple Practices

You don’t need a complete overhaul to break this loop. Just two consistent practices can help you reconnect with your priorities and take back momentum.

Practice 1: Get Comfortable With Saying No

The Fear: Saying no makes you seem difficult or uncommitted.
The Reality: Boundaries support better work. But fear creates a false story of consequences.

Try This:
When the fear shows up, ask yourself:

“What matters more right now — performance or perception?”

That one question can help you pause. Even if you don’t say “no” out loud, you’ve already interrupted the inner panic. Over time, this builds comfort with choosing consciously — not reactively.

Practice 2: Block 2 Hours Daily for One High-Impact Task

Choose one task that actually matters. Not the urgent one — the impactful one.
Then block 2 hours just for it. No calls, no email, no Slack.

  • Schedule around it
  • Let your team know
  • Protect it — just like you would a meeting

Even one important task a day adds up fast. You can launch an entire project in a month — without chaos.

Why This Works:

These two practices work together:

  • One builds mental space (less fear, more presence)
  • The other creates physical time (for deep, real work)

They’re simple. But they protect the one thing you need most at work: clarity.

 

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